Everyone I speak to is worried and overwhelmed... so am I. It's not just a divided time but a frightening one. Most of the time, I'm in a sort of fog. I feel guilty on a regular basis for not being productive enough. I hit a wall a while back and still looking for my way through or over it. This is when seeking moments of beauty is imperative. When home and working (even if it's a matter of looking for inspiration I need to write), I find walking out to my patio is beneficial. With all the plants I take care of, constant clean-up, and caring for the hummingbirds and their feeders, I enter another focused world that consumes me in a garden of labor and beauty.
But what about the other times? For example, I wake up and remember the high stakes and danger we're in. It haunts me - it haunts more than half this country. Or when I get into bed and hope for a peaceful sleep but restlessness visits instead. These are the times I am grateful for my therapy cat,
Lucia. She is an award winning snuggler. When I feel anxious and/or dread, she seems to know and shows me the sweetest affection. I am on my own but not by choice. It is a reality. It would be lovely to have a partner who shares my values but it's a needle in a haystack to find the right match. Granted, I'm a romantic with strong opinions, concerns, passions, and integrity. I've also been known as a troublemaker since being a very young girl. I still am but the troublemaker in me comes from the heart and standing up for what's right. Even when it's an adamant belief in adopting animals rather than shopping for them. Lucia had a challenging beginning to life that included abandonment. So did I. We bring safety and comfort to one another.
Along with with Lucia plopping down on my face and chest when I wake in the morning, I watch
the hummingbirds come to the feeder outside my bedroom window. Hummingbirds are little angels, messengers, and miraculous survivors. I've always loved them but when they really stole my heart was during my breast cancer ordeal. I lived up in the hills of Santa Barbara during most of the nine
surgeries. No matter how much I was in pain with drains hanging out of me or completely despondent in the fetal position on the sofa, I made it out on the balcony to hang out with my hummingbirds. They connected by hovering in front of me and staring into my eyes. Eventually, they began to take nectar from my hand. My colorful and extraordinary little angels lifted my spirit and hope.
**Additional note added at the end since this blog was written.
While I stay involved and aware of the frightening mess this country is in, I seek moments of beauty. It truly is the path I have forever taken to survive the rollercoaster of life challenges. What lifts your spirit and hope? I can only be honest and I've never been in fear of using my voice. We are not living in a time where we can risk complacency. We are, however, living in a time where democracy hangs by a thread. Facts have historically been critical to the survival of freedom and democracy where our constitution matters. The integrity of what once was has been sold down the river by a fanatical/evangelical/white nationalist/right-wing/fascist-loving party that took over the Republican party. And the primary factor is that they ARE putting party before country--a no, no
in the Constitution of the US. Additionally, as insane as it is, what proves this is Project 2025, which trump touted beginning in 2022. He has been totally aligned with it despite his desperate effort to distant himself from the Heritage Group and the head of it, Alex Kasprak (photo online showing trump shaking his hand with a big fat smile on his face) since moderate types won't be into it. The photo I included lays out the plan that would change this country forever and if there was a chance of recovery, it would take decades. Between the MAGA appointed and ultra conservative majority SCOTUS taking away rights of women and granting immunity to trump, the door to an authoritarian rule is wide open. All this said, please vote blue, no matter who! Moreover, women have the power to create change to protect our rights by making it to the polls with a force.
**A side note: Since I wrote this blog prior to the rally shooting, I wanted to add that I do NOT condemn violence. It's important to say that political violence has become common. Aside from an attempted assassination, there was the vicious attack on Pelosi's husband (but had she been there she could've been killed) by a crazed MAGA person, and the violent attack on our Capitol. Also, I've been an advocate for banning assault weapons. The Ar-15 has been used in mass shootings for decades. This 20-year old shooter easily acquired one, along with many other weapons. And think of all the children that lost their innocent lives. It makes no sense for a military weapon to be in the hands of citizens. The GOP blocks the ban every single time! trump is right back to being himself and on the golf course the next day instead of mourning the man that was killed and the other injured folks. This is/was the moment to bring up banning assault weapons. Right Now!
In-between the madness, seek moments of beauty that bring you grace.
Keep on swimming through life,
Valerie Anne
Don't let the fanatics drag you down, my friend. We'll find a way to undo the damage and restore a more just and civilized nation. Meantime, I'm glad you're taking time to appreciate the moments of joy and beauty in the ordinary pleasures of life! That's how we'll all get through these troubled times. Thanks for sharing what so many of us are feeling.
It is so easy to become entangled in the insanity but we have to intentionally take time and effort for our mental health. Wonderful article!